Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Raising Girls

I recently read a post on the site Femina about little girls and how to navigate their behavior especially with other girls. They put up a list of questions they ask their daughters when they get home from school and I love it. So I am hijacking the list and copying it here. It is a great read to remind you of the things to remember to address on a regular basis with girls.

From Femina:

"Here’s a general idea of our after-school conversation.

Whom did you play with at recess?

What did you play?

Whose idea was it to play that?

Is she the one who’s usually in charge?

Did she exclude anyone when she set up the game?

Who was not playing with you?

Why weren’t they playing?

Was it because they didn’t want to, or because they weren’t included?

Were they not included for a good reason or a bad reason?

Did anyone get angry?


Did anyone say anything rude about someone else?

Did anyone say ugly things about their brothers or sisters?

Did you say ugly things about your brothers or sisters?

Did you stand up for your sister the way you were supposed to?

Did you look out for the lonely girls the way you were supposed to?

Did you ignore the boys the way you were supposed to?

Did you tell the bossy girl to knock it off the way you were supposed to?

Did you do that cheerfully or fussily?

When the girl with the potty-mouth said that, did you laugh, or did you tell her not to talk that way?

Did you do that cheerfully or fussily?

Did you handle the fussy boy the way Daddy told you to?

It’s incredible what a round of questions like that will turn up, and I can almost guarantee you that the answers will give you at least one very complicated ethical problem to work through, not least of which is how much credence you give to your own daughter’s rendition of the situation. But if you don’t ask the questions and wrestle your way through the answers, you’re basically leaving your daughter to fight her way through the jungle on her own."

Really thoughtful. We haven't had much of this with Renata because she isn't in school but even at church we had to address a "girls only club" issue that had the makings of trouble. Sometimes I am so glad I only have one then my son pees all over the bathroom and I switch my position.

1 comment:

mamajen said...

Or your daughter pees all over the bathroom...Great list. I regularly debrief after ballet class or play dates.