So this is a conversation I just had with Joffre Jr.:
Me: Joffre, go check on Ward (the baby) and make sure he is safe.
Joffre (reporting back): he's fine , Mom.
Me: Where is he?
Joffre: Oh, he's just in the kitchen playing with a knife....(long pause wherein I try to breathe)...but it's not a real knife just a toy one.
Me: (gasp gasp) Thank you, son.